I once had a cat, Anyes. She wasn't really my cat but I had more time to attend to her than mum did. Best listener and advisor ever. 'Said nothing and never acknowledge all I said.' When she died I felt cut. Presence is everything.
The fairy tale, that doing good shall mean you get the same needs to be totally wiped off. You might not even sleep better. But you must be who you are.
The biggest loss I ever faced was one of self. You run in circles chasing your own tail until you get exhausted, have a seat and catch your breathe. In that stillness, you find her waiting, smiling.
My one problem with books, is that they taught me all I know on sharing. But when I have a good one I don't wanna give it away. But when I do, it's beautiful watching it make the same difference on someone else. Oddly though, those are my thoughts on commitment too .