ANIMA ANIMUS

Dear Reid,        I woke up tasting you in my mouth today, the rays of the sun all over my bedroom and your scent all around me as vivid as it was in my sweet dreams. I had a long stretch curling over the comforter as I smile deliriously. How stupid you still make me, how weak and strong you sway me. Am your fool.

What is life about? Why are we here? Who are we? Where are we together? What else is out there? How did we get here? When does it end? More so, what is next? My mind has been heavy in thought today; please note, none of that should be apologized for. My blood is still rushing trying to remember how each thought flowed. Last year I picked a path that has led to many thought-full nights. The understanding of peace and purpose was paramount in establishing the power I needed to master so as to get to that actualized life I hope I and many wish for.

I work up this morning just in time for a morning show that was hosting an award winning Kenyan writer Binyavanga who you can be sure has my creative heart. His main message was to break the walls, tell it as it is. He called them Truth Tellers. Sounds good right? Sure does. So I shall spend the next few grams of balls I hold doing that…or at least starting to. Let’s talk matters sex!! I am in need of like minds, people who relate to what I battle with and have managed to see the damage that it can bring to a person’s live and would also like to know how to get things in control as I would. Hold on, am not talking about just sex, but the sex that can be difficult. Give me a minute to elaborate. I have very basic knowledge of the psychology of sex and within my veins is a need to change that. I would like to finally get the over the shame and talk to someone who actually has answers or at least offers words of comfort on the struggle of sex addiction. Let’s see, I would

A friend on Facebook posts a message reading ‘my sexuality is not a political statement.’ And within minutes am deep in thought over the author’s rational and it leads me to the baby boom. Babies, babies and babies. How the hell did I not see this coming why did I not expect the age increment to affect how we live? Lemme not digress.   Everywhere I turn mummy mushy words hit me or a photo of a sweet cuddly being in the arms of a lesbian or even lesbian couples to make it best. You have to be insane to consider a lesbian with a baby anything but breath-taking beautiful. There is something about the newly acquired sexiness of the responsibilities parenting brings. A stud posts on how happy her partner just made her on the day of delivery of their son and it is now smack on my face. SHIT JUST GOT REAL!!! Yaani, an actual lesbian couple I have shared a drink with in this city will actually do it. As in kids and a family dog? As in have a middle-finger-to-the-world happy family