ANIMA ANIMUS

My occasional lack of focus hit again in the usual ugly way whereby I can’t even get out of bed without a fight. So I took most of that time blaming Bitch for she was the added variable in my life. Said changed me from my workaholic, over achieving, creative nature. When I was done with that I blamed the lack of alcohol in my life...yes I have no boundaries. Lemme get to my point. Am done with that 3weeks of zero focus and concentration but as soon as I was done with that I took a few more days to punish myself with moments of meditation on how I let go of things easily. So this time unlike the others I have had in my past I didn’t heal by getting rid of all parties in my life. Not that i wasn't tempted..but there is only so much damage you can do to your routine. But I reviewed what I have lost in the past due to such behavior, extremely destructive behavior. Which biggest impact is making me a paper poet. While 2 years ago I was on that climb of being one of the best perform...

It is a whole new world. A world where we promise ourselves not to commit to the person you lay with for you remember quite well how love is supposed to go. You have the time of your life at the same time looking at all directions for the person who will be good enough for your parents eyes, a person who can be that support system in your career, make your home, raise your children, have their own career and life and still be fun and funny enough to keep you entertained. A world in which ideologies like giving it up on the third date sound like an urban myth not far from the serial killers of our days.   Where sons are named after the club owners for that is the only inspiration to love. A dateless world, where lovers meet in bars and can’t remember half of their 1 st conversation and get to have a squeeze of the booty in the first quarter hour. Soul-mates do not lay awake writing letters to each other for they can always share a fraction of the thought in a 140 char...

A lovely weekend it was. The usual mostly alcohol and drugs abuse (what kind of dyke would I be if I did none of that) and smoking my remaining breathers out (having fresh ones if so overrated). I take that back I am all for preservation of organs, have to consider those who need donors but just like recycling and polite conversation-it's one of those things I just wish I could do.  So after most of the weekend shared with Bitch, she leaves for a distant location :-( and I join fellow dykes in a bar :-). Chilling out on a Sunday evening with everyone on the table with a pounding headache and recaps of the last two nights ain't a punishment. Having taken a break from the usual scene too indulged in my work and love for my own company apparently I have missed a lot. So its time to catch up on who is dating who, who is sleeping with who and who got caught which is openly the part of the conversation I enjoy most.  For years on there has been well known characteri...

Even somebody as perfect as I am (yes I said it) has one thing they don't kill at. I shall let you in on the secret, the one thing I fail terribly at. If you we looking to bet on someone that will suck at it, place a million and point at my lovely self. It is called Dating, a relationship if you like. I can make it the  worst ever attempted even with the most lovely of persons. Trust me it took me years of trying and trying with people of all appearances, looks, temperaments and backgrounds before I knew I was the problem. So what am I to do but make shallow connection with random women and never take it further enough to have her wishing my self and ancestors dead or conspiring with assassins to have my head on a platter. That I wont really complain has been a lovely journey and adventure in this everyone-is-prey world, but all who have been on that cruise know that it gets a little too draining after waking up next to strange faces and a few death threats from some who ...

GAYS!! So I did it again...running my mouth, in this case my fingers got me blogging right now when my time would be so awesomely divided in my work. Its started today in the morning when I got a text from my boss that Kiss FM just advertised the Programs Coordinator vacancy we have at The Gay and Lesbian Coalition of Kenya where I work as the Research officer. Yes! earthlings, I work with them.  The first mistake that heterosexuals make is starting any statement with the 'THEM' word. Early in the week I was in a panel conducting interviews and some guy kept saying THEM while referring to the LGBTI (Lesbian, Gays, Bi-sexuals, Transgender and Intersex) for those of you who need the basics.  My morning got wayyyyyy more interesting when I got to work and checked out Caroline Mutoko's update that was actually a job advert for the position. So we have at this time over six hundred comments on the update in the following categories 1. Homophobes throwing their...

I have had the conversation am having with myself over 40 times. Since I can remember the first being some time when I started talking. ‘Immah what do you wanna be when you grow up? A doctor perhaps?' when my moods favored me; I would give an answer. One that ran through my mind days later. Hoping to convince me that it is not a boring idea that being referred as that in this capitalist society where you are tagged by your 9-5 activities won’t be that unbearable. Today lets focus on Dr. Reid who was the yes answer to the discussion whenever I considered my time best spent on something else. Spending the weekend watching Grey’s doesn’t throw such memories at the darkest part of my head. I never wanted to become a doctor like the two thirds in our class All I knew is that I didn’t know what I wanted to be till way past my entry into adulthood. What it took for me was seeing this autistic, socially retarded, genius character. Spencer Reid is the n...