Lesbian Bed Death

ok...not so dead over here.

One of the most popular bloggers in the Kenyan lesbian scene just wrote a blog on the Lesbian Bed Death Syndrome which has all self respecting lesbian minds sharing their opinion. Most of them agitated by the idea that was put across by Pepper Schwartz in her 1983 book American couples, which makes me wonder why we are getting to this discussion now but I shall put a pin on that.

The idea is that lesbian couples in committed relationships have less sex than any other form of couples, may it be homo or hereto. This as I have read, is insulting to our young vibrant Nairobi lesbians who have been hit with this revelation. My male counterparts from the office just tweet the link too scared to comment honestly for fear of the fury of a group of women scorned.  So this is my way of looking at it that I think some of you may share.

First I shall ignore the discussion on who is a lesbian and who is not and jump to the commitment part of the definition of the theory. It is well stated that this ‘tragedy’ occurs to the women who are in long committed relationships. So “no sweethearts” Pepper is not referring to your six-monthed-relationship that is the longest that you have ever had and it is about to turning into a marriage in the next two. Neither does this cover the girl that you have been seeing on and off for the last 4 years in between the three other relationships that you have had, all because she is the love of your life and you two believe you will end up together. Coz all variables must be considered, having sex behind all this other people who you may be fooling you are committed to would only spice up you bed. Leaving you out of the demographic that is being covered in this study.

Secondly, the forms of relationships that we are in. lesbians are not the most intolerant people to open relationships, whether it’s an agreement among all parties involved or just how you may turn your head aside and act like you don’t know she is in Stella’s, Jane’s or even Jo’s bed. This is not the people being referred to. This is for the faithful, monogamous few out there which just lowered our demographics further after we deducted the not-so-long-term relationships.

Thirdly let’s cover the avoided topic of emotional sex between women. This is the main difference between lesbian and heterosexual sex for women, which becomes the doom of many lesbian couples that may start out because of their physical attraction to each other. As unnecessary as it may be to mention that girlfriend that you cannot connect to emotionally but is a volcano in your bed is not what we are talking about and furthermore I doubt you two will be at it for years if you don’t take it to the next emotional level.

 Honestly I believe lesbians are some of the most sexually active people I know. So you can start breathing again, no one was questioning your manhood if you know what I mean :-). How many have tried having sex with the same woman for years and ended up making it as regular as it begun? How many of you are faithful and still attracted to her- after years? How many of you still think she is the sexiest woman there is?

The number of Kenyan lesbian couples left after that sieving are the only ones allowed to put a bullet through Pepper’s head. With my permission that 0.1% can shoot!