ANIMA ANIMUS

  Its time I acted like the woMan I say I am Put it all out, lay it on the table Finally! 1 st I don’t like you 2 nd I don’t wanna love you 3 rd I won’t be fucking with you Funny how some think they can come to you space at their own will Take it upon themselves to make your life unbearable if not liveable Afterwards show up and expect nothing but love and admiration from you In this case me! How I wish someone will offer you the news That I am not yours to have and you will never own me You can be sure I will die with you in my life Simply because there is no other way around it Wish I could show you the loath I have for you Pack up and find someone who will give me a new US One that will be minus the humongous skeleton in our closet That may never let me see past what we had I wanna look at you and not wanna punish you Not wish I could wash your scent off me when we are done I wish I didn’t need you I didn’t want you But I am...

I am having a conversation with my pals Blessol, Leila, Catty and Sheila the discussion is all over the place on social injustices, colonization, classism, slave trade, being lesbian in Kenya and revolution (yes it’s not just you Tracy Chapman has been running through my mind though out the talk). So Blessol really believe that at the point she is at this mind closed environment we live in there is no chance of make it differently and Catty and I who are conc. believers on change and making a space where some(please note) can get to enjoy their lives regardless of their income, gender identity and sexual orientation. Her point are very valid and take me a step back to evaluate how occurrences that have happened to my people and not the human race as a whole affect what we may be trying to do right now. Lets taking it from the part where the extremely content half naked African man has to pay for giving an explorer a chance to dialogue that made us end up with years of colonizat...

  HEY YA’LL! Yea, am slightly excited. Am going to get a new tattoo, Ok drop the excitement and let’s get to the fucked up part of me not even knowing what I will get and its minutes to time. Ok my options go as far as what is happening in my life right now. So 1 st and most importantly I need a Greek element to it (am loyal to my obsessions) and then it swings on the way of this knowing myself journey am undertaking or the poetry that am trying to keep close once more. I will post a photo for your criticism…not that it will matter but am considerate like that. Moving on, Let’s touch on the last post as I try to be a man of my word. Poetry was good intense, memorable, apologetic ( :-) ), educative and much more, amongst which Bitch is no more. Yes the why can’t I keep a relationship predicament continues but hey…let’s focus on issues we can actually understand better than a poet, die hard romantic who lives desiring companionship and commitment cannot keep some. By the way...

My occasional lack of focus hit again in the usual ugly way whereby I can’t even get out of bed without a fight. So I took most of that time blaming Bitch for she was the added variable in my life. Said changed me from my workaholic, over achieving, creative nature. When I was done with that I blamed the lack of alcohol in my life...yes I have no boundaries. Lemme get to my point. Am done with that 3weeks of zero focus and concentration but as soon as I was done with that I took a few more days to punish myself with moments of meditation on how I let go of things easily. So this time unlike the others I have had in my past I didn’t heal by getting rid of all parties in my life. Not that i wasn't tempted..but there is only so much damage you can do to your routine. But I reviewed what I have lost in the past due to such behavior, extremely destructive behavior. Which biggest impact is making me a paper poet. While 2 years ago I was on that climb of being one of the best perform...

It is a whole new world. A world where we promise ourselves not to commit to the person you lay with for you remember quite well how love is supposed to go. You have the time of your life at the same time looking at all directions for the person who will be good enough for your parents eyes, a person who can be that support system in your career, make your home, raise your children, have their own career and life and still be fun and funny enough to keep you entertained. A world in which ideologies like giving it up on the third date sound like an urban myth not far from the serial killers of our days.   Where sons are named after the club owners for that is the only inspiration to love. A dateless world, where lovers meet in bars and can’t remember half of their 1 st conversation and get to have a squeeze of the booty in the first quarter hour. Soul-mates do not lay awake writing letters to each other for they can always share a fraction of the thought in a 140 char...

A lovely weekend it was. The usual mostly alcohol and drugs abuse (what kind of dyke would I be if I did none of that) and smoking my remaining breathers out (having fresh ones if so overrated). I take that back I am all for preservation of organs, have to consider those who need donors but just like recycling and polite conversation-it's one of those things I just wish I could do.  So after most of the weekend shared with Bitch, she leaves for a distant location :-( and I join fellow dykes in a bar :-). Chilling out on a Sunday evening with everyone on the table with a pounding headache and recaps of the last two nights ain't a punishment. Having taken a break from the usual scene too indulged in my work and love for my own company apparently I have missed a lot. So its time to catch up on who is dating who, who is sleeping with who and who got caught which is openly the part of the conversation I enjoy most.  For years on there has been well known characteri...

Even somebody as perfect as I am (yes I said it) has one thing they don't kill at. I shall let you in on the secret, the one thing I fail terribly at. If you we looking to bet on someone that will suck at it, place a million and point at my lovely self. It is called Dating, a relationship if you like. I can make it the  worst ever attempted even with the most lovely of persons. Trust me it took me years of trying and trying with people of all appearances, looks, temperaments and backgrounds before I knew I was the problem. So what am I to do but make shallow connection with random women and never take it further enough to have her wishing my self and ancestors dead or conspiring with assassins to have my head on a platter. That I wont really complain has been a lovely journey and adventure in this everyone-is-prey world, but all who have been on that cruise know that it gets a little too draining after waking up next to strange faces and a few death threats from some who ...