MEET BITCH..

Even somebody as perfect as I am (yes I said it) has one thing they don't kill at. I shall let you in on the secret, the one thing I fail terribly at. If you we looking to bet on someone that will suck at it, place a million and point at my lovely self. It is called Dating, a relationship if you like. I can make it the  worst ever attempted even with the most lovely of persons.

Trust me it took me years of trying and trying with people of all appearances, looks, temperaments and backgrounds before I knew I was the problem. So what am I to do but make shallow connection with random women and never take it further enough to have her wishing my self and ancestors dead or conspiring with assassins to have my head on a platter.

That I wont really complain has been a lovely journey and adventure in this everyone-is-prey world, but all who have been on that cruise know that it gets a little too draining after waking up next to strange faces and a few death threats from some who didn't believe you when you said that it can't go any further past the one night, weekend if you push it.

So here I am a few too many unrecognizable numbers on my contact list for my age and blurry figures of how they looked. Way too many awkward conversations of why we can't have diner the next day. So many aches over what would have been with each.

The inevitability of change has never been more evident. I found what I was not looking for her pseudonym: BITCH. Why? 1st (Babe In Total Control of Herself) BITCH 2nd: I can get to put as much pun on my writing as I please. e.g Bitch be sweet, I love my bitch, Bitch made me bitch...exciting :-)

I know what you are thinking after the mil' other attempts what do I expect different this time? Truth is nothing. Maybe its just one of those and I am just adding to the list of fails on my book. But lets be fair if I have found the one woman who makes me laugh, dance to no music, smile at strangers, keep going with no will but her left in my thoughts, wanna see her in coming days, love every word that I read, listen to birds as they fly above, notice the beauty of a sunset or rise. I will loose my right arm trying (and trust me I value my arm).

So the coming days, weeks, months, years if the dominoes fall in my favor, shall be my Bitch and me. Learning to be a good friend, loyal lover and giving all there is in me to her. Lets teach this old dog new tricks!

Immah just got Bitched.